What Exactly
by Sofricus Aurora Zakuro
Summary: What exactly did you do that day that involved a quarter, three sitar strings and a stapler? Zemyx For freaky-hanyou


What Exactly

**A/N: **For freaky-hanyou, for being so wonderful and writing everyone's crazy suggestions (including mine) in her wonderful What If story. I hope you like, f-h!

**Disclaimer: **Don't own. 

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Demyx sat on top of Zexion, a smirk gracing the corners of his mouth. The Schemer pouted, not exactly liking his current position. 

"Demy…" the slate-haired Nobody almost pouted. The Nocturne smirked, seeing his love's expression. Since the two of them had started going out, Zexion had loosened up so much….one could hardly imagine he was the same stoic Nobody he had been just a few weeks ago…

"DEMYX!" Zexion waved a hand in front of the Nocturne's face. "Earth to Demyx, I asked you a question! What in Kingdom Hearts do I have to do to get you off me?" he demanded, attempting to shove IX's considerable bulk off of his slim stomach. "And what have you been _eating_?" 

Demyx smirked wickedly. "Oh just a cracker, and another cracker, and another cracker…" His aqua eyes lit up with malicious humor as he brought a certain sugar-related incident to the front of VI's mind. 

"Oh, and to answer your first question…please enlighten me as to _what exactly you did _that day involving a quarter, three sitar strings and a stapler." 

Zexion blushed the hue of Axel's hair and began stuttering some incoherent syllables. "Dem…" 

But the Nocturne seemed to have been taking sadism lessons from Larxene, because he refused to move. "Enlighten me, O Intelligent One." 

"Well…" Zexion muttered, his face darkening even further until it reminded his boyfriend of Superior's skin. "If you must know…" 

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_FLASHBACK_

_Everything was so colorful. _

_Sparkles seemed to emit from every light source. Pink fairies gamboled and frolicked across the hallways. And the flowers in Marluxia's garden sang love ballads just for him! _

_Zexion couldn't resist letting out a little 'squee' of delight. The world was just so __**pretty**__! Somewhere, the maybe .000042 of his mind that still remained rational reminded that the World that Never Was wasn't a pretty place…it was too white and drab..but his sugar-soup-induced self refused to comprehend that fact. _

_Suddenly, a wonderful idea occurred to Zexion. _

_A wonderful, beautiful, happy little idea that would make his dear, sweet Demykins love him more than he had ever loved him. Because to tell the truth, Zexion was a little worried. He was pretty sure he had seen Demyx flirting with one of the pink fairies frolicking in the hallways. _

_OH NO! _

_Zexion was in danger! His love didn't love him anymore! Suddenly, the pink fairies didn't seem so pretty. "I will make a Portal!" he declared, completely ignoring the fact that he was perfectly capable (at least normally) of creating a portal of his own. "And I will send the fairies back to the magical land of sparkles and fluff where they belong, and then Demykins and I will journey to Candy Mountain for a romantic getaway!" _

_At least, that was what the Schemer thought he was saying. A very traumatized Luxord, passing Demyx's room to get to his own, heard Zexion reciting a long speech about why they should teach the Heartless to speak the language of the little fishies and died from internal bleeding soon thereafter. _

_But Zexion, still in a sugar-daze and oblivious to the goings-on outside his room, was intent upon creating a Portal for the fairies. It would be pink—because the fairies wouldn't trust the Portal if it wasn't pink. _

"_What is pink?" VI wondered aloud (though to the outside observer, it would seem as though he were reciting Pascal's Triangle). "QUARTERS ARE PINK!" _

_He found a quarter (except it had Ansem the Wise's face on it, because George Washington didn't exist,) but then realized the quarter needed something magical to give it magical transportation powers. _

"_DEMY'S SITAR IS MAGICAL!" Zexion squealed, and he searched for the instrument. After ransacking the room, he found the sitar in Demyx's underwear drawer and, (after taking several minutes to smell every single pair of boxers in the drawer) ripped out three strings, bent them into a rough imitation of Mount Everest, and attached them to the quarter with some staples that just happened to be lying around. _

_But still, the Portal did not work. _

_Zexion frowned and thought. He thought and frowned. And then he had a Wonderful Idea. _

_He needed to sing a magic spell so that the pink fairies would be sucked back into the magical land of sparkles and fluff! It was a very faraway land, and they needed some nice music for the trip. _

_So Zexion began singing off-key at the top of his lungs. "I'VE BEEN DREAMING OF A TRUE LOVE'S KISS, AND A PRINCE I'M HOPING COMES WITH THIS….TO BEING AN US FOR ONCE, INSTEAD OF A THEM….WHEN YOU WISH UPON A FORK, MAKES NO DIFFERENCE WHAT YOU SMELL LIKE…MAKING TOYS AND MAKING CHEESE TO….SOMETHING ,SOMETHING, SOMETHING…LAA VIEEE BOOOOOOOOHHHHHEEEEMMMMMMMMME!" _

_When Zexion had finished singing, he opened his eyes. The fairies were gone! So was the Portal. In its place was a large hole and a very, very angry Demyx. _

"_What. Happened. Zexion?" Demyx ground out. _

"_Magical fairies went to the magical land of sparkles and fluff," Zexion insisted, but what Demyx heard was "Well, it involves a quarter, three sitar strings, and a stapler." _

_Luckily, his boyfriend soon forgot about his anger as they quickly engaged in…other…activities. But Zexion spent the entirety of their make-out session hoping the fairies had had a safe trip back to the magical land of sparkles and fluff._

_---------_

Demyx leaned his mullet/mohawked head backwards as he began howling with laughter. "Y…you mean to say that…you thought…there were pink…fairies?" 

Zexion frowned. "There WERE, Demyx, there were!" Why wouldn't the Nocturne believe him? 

IX had opened his mouth to form another retort when he noticed something strange. During the course of the Schemer's narration, the pair had switched positions, leaving Demyx pressed to the bed with Zexion on top. 

"You…" Demyx spluttered, again having difficulty speaking. "You made that up just so you could distract me and get on top?" He put on his famous Demyx Pout. "Meanie." 

Zexion smirked, leaning in scant centimeters from his love's face. Instead of a direct response, he merely murmured, "Your fish ate my socks," before claiming Demyx's lips in a kiss. 

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"Sora…" Riku said softly, his breath coming in short gasps of nervousness.

"Y…yeah?" the Keybearer asked, equally nervous. 

"I….I loveyou!" Riku admitted. 

Sora's eyes filled with joy. "You silly idiot, I love you too!" The pair leaned in, about to share there first kiss together…

when suddenly, a horde of pink fairies flooded over them and took over Destiny Islands, turning all of its inhabitants into hot dogs which people ate and thought were delicious and sang songs about their delicious-ness, making the fairies rich until they inexplicably ended up burned to death in their own ovens. 

_The End. _


End file.
